Writer of Horror Fiction

Review of Tim Long and Jonathan Moon’s “The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole”

Dip yourself in whatever numbing agent is your preference, strap yourself in tightly, put on some welding goggles, and then perhaps you might be able to absorb this little slice of delightful insanity, brought to you by two authors who apparently have a strong fetish with glory holes, demons with, shall we say, impressive dangly bits, some very odd and phallically shaped bugs, feces, LSD, the “F” word, and anything else you can think of that might disrupt the sensitive minds of virtually everyone on the planet.

The apocalypse is here, and everything is screwed up. God the father has decided to take a hike to another universe and start all over, while the angels and demons are waiting to get the party started. Jesus is tired of being taken advantage of, the four horsemen of the apocalypse are mostly all around incompetents, the Antichrist is a no show, and Satan…well, Satan is rising out the desert, ass first. And none of them hold a candle to the main characters in this truly freaked out story.

We have an assortment of people who are all trying to sort things out during the apocalypse, whether they are trying to prevent it or get the party started, including a General who strives to find new and fun ways to curse like a madman, a Sheriff and one of his deputies who just came from the orgy to end all orgies and are dressed appropriately in a g-string and ball gag, a man who can best be described a narcissistic, delusional, drug addled blogger who has a one armed, heroin addicted ape for a pet named Phil, an employee of a sex shop whose beverages have been spiked with so much LSD that he can only speak in what can be described as porno-linguistics, and a militant lesbian who seems to be the most sane person amongst them. Oh, and we can’t forget Goatboy…the half man, half goat who speaks with a British accent and can’t stop telling dirty jokes.

This book is a riot of psychotropic incidents and disturbing imagery…and yes, plenty of glory holes. For me, the most visually intriguing scene had to be the battle between the angels of heaven and the half man/half demon that occurs in the sex shop. It was also one of those rare moments when I am reading where I virtually laughed my butt off. I couldn’t help myself. But to say that this particular scene came even close to being the most outrageous, the most jaw-droppingly absurd in the book would be stretching it quite a bit.

Do not read this book if you do not a) have a strong stomach b) a mind willing to be twisted into little pretzel shapes, then allowing the salt on said pretzel shapes to be licked off by goats and various farm animals with questionable morals, and c) don’t have a great fascination with feces and the sexual practices of demons. You have been warned. Everyone else, come on board for a strangely compelling mind-F of the highest magnitude.

The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole can be found on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Apocalypse-Satans-Glory-Hole/dp/1452862036/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279596785&sr=1-1

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